Snowplow

THE SNAIL (REMI GAILLARD)

Death metal rooster

Chinese grandmother (101) grows horn

youtube speed

Photographing cotton

Miniature New York

Food landscape

Make it smaller and become bigger

Helicopter versus Woman

1. A heli will kill you quickly — a woman love to take her time.
2. Helis can be turned on by a flick of a switch.
3. A heli does not get mad if you ‘touch and go’.
4. A heli does not object to a pre-flight inspection.
5. Helis come with manuals.
6. Helis have some weight limits.
7. You can fly a heli any time of the month.
8. Helis don’t come with in-laws.
9. A heli don’t whine unless something is really wrong.
10. A heli don’t care about how many other helis you have flown.
11. When flying, you and your heli both arrive at the same time or no complaints.
12. A heli don’t mind if you look at other helis, or if you buy heli magazines.
13. It’s OK to use tie-downs on your heli, they prefer it.
14. Helis are quiet when you are not flying them!
15. Helis never say… ” sell me and buy your wife something nice”.
16. When you show up at the field and there is a better looking heli, your heli doesn’t get jealous.
17. When you part with a heli, it doesn’t take your house.
18. You will never come home and find your heli in bed with another heli!
19. Possession of more than one heli is possible.
20. Helies can’t say… “I don’t want you to fly me today”.
21. A heli can’t use your bank card.

Geek joke, not by me.

Recently one of my friends, a computer wizard, payed me a visit. As we were talking I mentioned that I had recently installed Windows on my PC, I told him how happy I was with this operating system and showed him the Windows CD. Too my surprise he threw it into my microwave oven and turned on the oven. Instantly I got very upset, because the CD had become precious to me, but he said: ‘Do not worry, it is unharmed.’ After a few minutes he took the CD out, gave it to me and said: ‘Take a close look at it.’ To my surprise the CD was quite cold to the touch and it seemed to be heavier than before. At first I could not see anything, but on the inner edge of the central hole I saw a inscription, an inscription finer than anything I have ever seen before. The inscription shone piercingly bright, and yet remote, as if out of a great depth:

4F6E65204F5320746F2072756C65207468656D20616C6C 2C204F6E65204F5320746F
2066696E64207468656D2C0D0A4F6E65204F5320746F20 6272696E67207468656D20
616C6C20616E6420696E20746865206461726B6E657373 2062696E64207468656D

‘I cannot understand the fiery letters,’ I said.

‘No but I can,’ he said. ‘The letters are Hex, of an ancient mode, but the language is that of Microsoft, which I shall not utter here. But in common English this is what it says:’

One OS to rule them all, One OS to find them, One OS to bring them all and in the darkness bind them.